Monday, 27 July 2015

How old is too old???? Co-Sleeping!!!

How Old is too old??

This is an issue which I have and still am struggling with. I don't remember all those years ago when I was pregnant co-sleeping been a buzz word of the day.....I do remember been told "oh no don't let him sleep with you, you'll never get him out". Zak always had his own cot and did happily go down to sleep in it every night from a very early age. However if he did wake during the night or become unsettled he would be lifted in to bed with me and I had no doubt in my mind that this was the best option for us both. He would happily snuggle up to me and drift off back to sleep, which allowed me too to get an adequate amount of sleep. Returning to work once he reached 9 months meant I needed at least six good hours of sleep each night to allow me to continue functioning on a daily basis.

'Co-sleeping' has definitely worked for us over the years and kept us both happy. Zak has always had his own bed and room until very recently, however at 7 years old he is still opting to climb in to bed with me every night. I've done the whole new bed, new room, and decorating his room in  a theme of his choice. I even splashed out at one point and bought him a mid sleeper with a slide thinking that would do the trick, who wouldn't love a bed with its own slide!!!!

He did love the slide and the bed and the newly decorated room. He would even climb in to bed on an evening and settle down to go to sleep, but it wouldn't be long before he would be climbing in at the side of me. Which I would very rarely complain about!!!

I'm pretty sure been a single parent massively impacted on my choices when allowing him to 'co-sleep' with me every night, there was plenty of room and I do love having him close.

However at 7 years old now and he's not a small 7 year old either!!! He can take up a substantial amount of room and he is a massive wriggler. The look of shock horror when I disclose to other parents that I still allow Zak to sleep with me every night, well if I had a pound for every look I got I would be a very happy mummy.

So our once more convenient routine which allowed us both the best nights sleep is not so convenient, well not for me anyway.
I decided to do a little research to see if I could find a definitive answer..........

"Certainly children four and six years of age are not too old to sleep with parents. In many cultures throughout the world, children sleep with their parents until they are nine or ten. As a very general guide, around eight years of age is when most children naturally want their own sleeping quarters" (Dr Sears).

Which obviously I could not..... there are pages and pages of posts in which parents discuss their own personal solutions and antidote's to addressing the issue of co-sleeping.

I am now beginning to wonder whether or not it is actually an issue...... ok so maybe I am not currently getting the best nights sleep but I'm sure it is the better option of two evils!!!! I know that forcing Zak to sleep alone would result in a very unhappy unsettled little man.


The worst thing we can do is compare our own living solutions and family routines with those of others, what works for us will not work for everybody else.

I would for you to share your experiences, solutions and battles with 'co-sleeping'.

1 comment:

  1. Well, as a result of my simple humble experience is that I adore those nights when my little 16 months old snuggles to me and sleeps. However this only happened twice or three times so far. In general, he used to sleep in our room but in his own bed since birth until one year old. By the time we celebrated his first birthday he was moved to his own room.
    I can tell you, though, I do believe that it is much better for him to sleep in his own bed, own room.

    BUT! Whenever something happens I am always more than happy to take him beside me and sleep while snuggling him! :-)